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© 2020 Tabitha Jester

  • Tabitha Jester

Know Thy Pussy As Thyself


Pelvic Floor Dysfunction.


It's a clinical term that sounds simple, and I guess in essence it is! Dysfunction of the pelvic anatomy and functions of said anatomy.


But it's also incredibly complex in the fact that PF dysfunction can show up in a multitude of ways we might actually consider “normal experiences” that just come due to life with a vagina.

  • Leaking when we sneeze, jump, cough, etc

  • Burning during sex (regularly or occasionally)

  • Lack of vaginal lubrication

  • Low back, hip, and knee pain (though it ripples into the whole body)

  • Internal and external pain points

  • Numbness internally and externally

  • Muscular weakness/tension

  • SI Joint Dysfunction

  • Organ prolapse and twisting

  • Trouble orgasming

  • Pain with orgasm

  • Painful menstruation

  • Bladder and bowel issues (urge to void when there's no need, trouble/straining to void when there is, feeling incomplete in voiding, irritation and sensitivity, etc)

  • Hip misalignment issues (tipped, twisted, and off balance pelvic bones)

  • Infertility

  • Hemorrhoids, cysts, fibroids, varicose veins, etc

  • Anxiety and depression (yes, our emotions are influenced by our pelvic health)

  • Catastrophic and fearful thinking

Just to name a few…


Kind of scary, right?


Even more scary is the fact that most women are so used to these things, they may not even register them as issues anymore! May not even be aware of them happening.


I see a lot of reasons for this.


Some of it’s due to the fact that many of us aren't taught how to observe and experience our bodies anymore. We feel the beginnings of pain or discomfort and we take a pill, have a drink, redirect our focus from our body back into our head, and basically put our body on mute for various reasons.


Some of it is a lack of body education! We might experience sensations, feel discomfort, or have a change in lubrication or discharge, but we don't know what they mean. And if we go to a medical professional, half the time they tell us it's just part of life anyway. Or they give us a pill for it! Or tell us when it gets bad enough they'll do surgery.


Sometimes we have a resolution, but many times we don't.


Article after article can be found with women dealing with chronic dysfunction that has failed to respond successfully to traditional medical treatment, and these women's lives have shifted to accommodate the dysfunction with no hope of ever seeing it resolved.


Things like pain with intercourse, changes in vaginal discharge and lubrication levels, changes in vaginal sensation and orgasmic ability, changes in libido, anything off of the list at the beginning!


The deeper I take my education, the more evident this gross lack of body education and excessive incorrect education is rearing its ugly head.


It's moved me to tears more than once to see the impact that has in the lives of women all over the world. Myself included!


It obviously affects our bodies, our emotions, our careers, and it also affects our relationships... Our relationship to ourselves included!


The way we view our body, the way we feel about our sensuality and sexuality, this spills into our pursuit of hobbies, recreational activities, and even just the way we present ourselves out in public or in the boardroom.


Take for example the woman who deals with bladder issues or bowel issues. Feeling like she needs to go all the time, or not getting the signals that she needs to go and then all the sudden it's the rush to get to the bathroom before stuff starts spilling out!


This can create social anxiety, lack of confidence in being able to do things outside of the house or away from the immediate vicinity of the bathroom. This can also create problems with intimacy as it can be really difficult to surrender to pleasure in your body and the experience of intimacy with a partner if you're worried about leaking or needing to pause your pleasure session to run to the bathroom real quick.


My own bladder issues actually caused a lot of sensitivity in my vaginal canal and sometimes intercourse was just plain uncomfortable and made me feel like I had to pee the whole time!


And not in an exciting “I'm about to have an ejaculate orgasm” kind of way... But more the “my bladder is about to explode, my pussy feels raw, and I'm going to punch you in the throat if you don't stop!” kind of way.


Not very conducive to soul sex and regular intimacy.


And then what about the woman who's dealing with chronic yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, or just abnormal discharge and smells the seems to have no cause?

You worry about wearing skirts... You worry about doing things like yoga where your pussy maybe in the general proximity of other people's faces... You certainly worry about anything in relation to intimacy and having a partner between your legs!


If you want to get frisky with a lover, you feel like you need to shove an entire soap bar in your vaginal canal just to feel confident enough to let them play with your feminine delights! And you know that's not good for your vaginal health, but at this point it feels like it's totally fucked anyway, so if you can at least have an hour or two of pleasure with a partner free from the paranoia that they might think you smell or taste funny, “what does it matter?”, you think.


Maybe you've begin carrying multiple changes of underwear with you... You feel like you need to start putting things like boric acid and apple cider vinegar in your vagina, haha! And sometimes these things help, wonderfully so! But sometimes they just give you temporary relief and you have to self treat regularly to keep from having flare-ups of Funk.


Doctors tell you vaginas aren't supposed to smell good, that it's normal, but deep inside you know it's not... Maybe you weren't always this way, what changed? Why can't it change back? Sure, vaginas are going to have a unique smell, but there's a difference between your own unique fragrance and something that smells unhealthy.


I could give you story after story... Example after example… struggle after struggle… these stories aren't rarity's, they're not the exception, they are not things the very women you surround yourself with on a daily basis aren't experiencing and battling with on the inside.


In my 10+ years of Bodywork, Realignment, and Chronic Pain Resolution with clients, my statistics indicate that 80 to 90% of people are dealing with some form of Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. (Men included, but for the purposes of this writing, I'm only addressing women.)


In my experience, people that DON'T have any form of pelvic floor dysfunction are actually the Rarity.


I read studies regularly that give numbers like 1 and 3 women are dealing with pelvic floor dysfunction via urinary incontinence and organ prolapse…


That 40% of elite female athletes deal with stress urinary incontinence during their exercises and performances…


Some say one quarter of US women are dealing with pelvic floor dysfunction…


The numbers are so off the wall because of the different classifications each of these study groups are using to classify pelvic floor dysfunction and it's symptoms. Some don't count it if you don't have noticeable symptoms like a prolapsed organ or urinary or fecal incontinence.


Some women can have pelvic floor issues that seem non-symptomatic by traditional views, but are actually causing significant problems in the holistic well-being of the body. Like organs being tipped and twisted, bony structures being out of alignment, nerves being compressed and irritated, muscle shortening, weakened, or being too tight. It's easy to reclassify these things as issues elsewhere, like low back pain or weak knees, and the connection to the pelvis is completely overlooked.


Some women also don't think the things they're dealing with are abnormal, or they're too embarrassed to talk to a doctor. Things like occasional urinary leakage, painful menstruation, changes in smell and lubrication, loss of libido, pain during intercourse, Etc.


All of these things greatly decrease the statistics you can find on paper, but when you look at the broader picture you can't hide the fact that the numbers are insane! Just have a few open and vulnerable conversations with the women the women around you, and you'll be surprised by how many of you are all dealing with the same symptoms, alone.


So we've established there's an issue, you're starting to look at your body differently and all of the concerns and questions you'd shoved under the rug are starting to come back to the surface… or maybe some are appearing that you never even considered!


Fantastic! That's the whole point! To get you to start getting curious about your body, it's experiences, and for you to start looking for answers in a new way that maybe you haven't before.


So many of us have a deep disconnect from our bodies, and especially our pussies! This needs to change.


If you're looking for a way to start cultivating your own self healing and reclamation practice at home, you might consider taking one of my classes on the Dragon Yoni Egg Practice. It's very holistically based and even if you're not sure you want to use the Yoni egg, all of the content in the class can be done without the egg. It's a fantastic starting place for women wanting to cultivate a more powerful and loving relationship to their bodies, to reclaim ownership of their vaginas, to learn how to gain greater awareness about their pelvic floor, to begin incorporating things like vaginal massage, breast massage, breathwork, and pleasure practices into their healing. More info can be found at: www.tabitha-jester.com/dragoness


If you're not quite ready for that, I'd love to invite you to join my free and private women's Facebook Group, The Primal Pleasure Community. In this group we shamelessly and lovingly share and celebrate all the aspects that come with being a woman. From relationships to health, parenting to making ourselves a priority, and so much more. If you've been lacking a powerful Sisterhood in your life, this is the place for you! You can join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/776353039170003/


You're also more than welcome to personally reach out to me with any of your questions or to talk about doing private sessions. My email is tjester.info@gmail.com and I'd love to hear from you!


Until next time, Tabitha Jester

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