Make Your Ordinary Love

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© 2020 Tabitha Jester

  • Tabitha Jester

I think at one point every single woman has faked it!

I want to ask you a personal question... And I want you to be really honest about it.

How often do you fake it with your partner? Maybe moaning a little when you don't really feel it, or even clenching your PC muscles as though you were having an orgasm when you're not...

How often are you not in the mood, not in your body, not turned on, but you act like you are?

Or at least don't say you aren't...

I think at one point every single woman has faked it! I know I have. I know most of my clients admit to it also.

And though we may create a lot of different reasons and stories validating why we do it, why it's okay to do it, I really want to ask you if you one hundred percent believe it is?

The last few weeks I found my cycle of sexual silence rearing its ugly head... I found myself not letting my God man know when my desires aren't being met, when my pleasure isn't being fed, and though I haven't let it get as far as faking it, I've definitely been silent.

And he's felt it (as our lovers always do). He's even asked me about it (as only the brave lovers will).

And it's created so much panic in my mind and body, so much residue from my painful experiences with previous Partners, so much confusion and feeling like my body has become my betrayer, all kinds of stuff rattling around that has felt so overwhelming I found myself numbing out again...

Leaving my body when he touches me...

Feeling the sensations on the surface of my skin, but feeling dead and hollow on the inside...

I feel like I'm torn into pieces, one half of me craving his touch so badly, knowing how much pleasure we're capable of giving each other, knowing that I need his touch and affection for me to feel loved and reassured about our relationship...

But also finding myself wearing more clothing than usual, giving quick Peck kisses instead of deep passionate ones...

Keeping my hands to myself instead of letting my fingers run all over his body when we're watching a movie or walking through the store...

I feel the space. He feels the space. And I know that I've created it and maintained it to keep myself from experiencing the pain of my past.

And sometimes we need to do that! But this can't become The New Normal.

I know that I can't let the cycle of Silence, of diminishment, of numbing out, and faking pleasure to become the cracked, shaky, and dangerous Foundation of our relationship.

And I wont.

Over the last few days my lover and I have shared some very powerful conversations...

I've chosen to not continue with my self protection habits from the past, to open up and be vulnerable with him...

And as he always has, he stepped up to being the God man I know he is... The man who isn't perfect, but is always willing to listen and try...

And it's been worth every moment of shy discomfort on my part as we've come together as one to work through my numbness and bring me back to open feeling again!

This is a cycle that comes up for me repetitively, and I'm pretty sure it will for the rest of my life as it's so easy for me to leave my body when I get distracted or stressed out. This is the case for most women! Maybe you're feeling this in your own life.

But just because it comes up, doesn't mean that we can't do anything about it!

It doesn't mean that we can't find ways to resolve this and give it less and less power in our lives.

So I want to invite you to reflect about this in your own world... In your own relationship...

Do you believe that faking your pleasure with your partner, or staying silent about the ways you're not being pleasured, is beneficial and helpful to your relationship?

Do you believe it creates a strong and powerful foundation for you and your partner to create a legendary love and super sex that last for the rest of your lives?

Do you believe staying silent or passive about your pleasure is what you need for your lover to spontaneously one day turn into the sex god of your dreams?

I'm curious... Share your thoughts with me?

And if any of this is stirring up your hunger to resolve some of these issues in your own love life, put that in the comments or private message me! Because life is too short for anything other than legendary love and super sex...

I'd love to invite you to join my free and private women's Facebook Group, The Primal Pleasure Community. In this group we shamelessly and lovingly share and celebrate all the aspects that come with being a woman. From relationships to health, parenting to making ourselves a priority, and so much more.

You're also more than welcome to personally reach out to me with any of your questions or to talk about doing private sessions. My email is and I'd love to hear from you!

Your coach, Tabitha